"Protocol observed!"

While these are common phrases used in meetings, these come to have much larger implications on the work that I do here, as though anything I do is not legitimized unless I follow protocol and every rule to get it done (it’s so hard for a rebel without a cause…where rule breaking is part of the creative process of my life, at least in regards to the petty ones). I feel like I’m in grade school being trained on discipline and obedience as pillars of my character and evidence of my ability to perform as a member of society. Here, no one seems to understand WHY we do these things and why there is such a regiment and strict (and unnecessarily lengthy) methodology for anything you do. It’s just what you do and things aren’t documented well anyway, so it’s not even a systematic things. It alllllll plays into the ego. Your words aren’t recognized either because you’re female or you’re too young or you don’t have an esteemed position. So I teeter between respecting a culture and noting a time and place to implement change…or even just to pose a question: Why?

I’m so tired. I am tired of trying to rationalize why the system is as such, and I can find no justifiable reason other than the security in conformity and the confirmation the comes with following protocol as a measure of success. That’s not what it’s about.

I am attempting to prepare to have this camp at the senior secondary school in a few weeks, only to discover that the hostel facilities that house the boarding students don’t have doors or they have bad plumbing in the bathrooms with standing water on the floors. When I approached the subject with the administration I get the typical, “Ahh, Peo, you know there is no money.” Yes, I know this. There is never any money and it’s always someone else’s responsibility to address things that need to be resolved, fixed, or done. When I mention these issues as concerns for safety and security, it’s just a matter of someone in the Ministry of Education not bothering to address or prioritize this particular issue in this particular village being that I’m sure there are a plethora of maintenance requests backed up on some computer in Gaborone. Being that everything is so government central, things just pile up and a few people have the reigns to address what they wish or deem valid.  Knowing this, it’s also easier to begin to understand why there is a lack of initiative with programs, organizations, tasks in general here…because you have to be willing to jump through all the hoops of getting stamps and paperwork and stroke numerous egos to get anything done, not a system I’m well suited for.

 In combination with the camp, I am trying to have the nationwide-renowned radio announcer, Jazzelle, come to speak to the girls about setting goals and the importance of education in her life. In addition, I have asked Unity Dow, the first female High Court Judge in Botswana to speak to them as well. Unity is also one of the few published authors of Botswana. Saturday is for Funerals is a succinct and informative observation on the current status of HIV/AIDS in Botswana. She gives the book a social focus, supplemented with valuable (and accessible) statistical information. I read it before I came to Botswana, and it was a perfect crash course in beginning to understand Botswana’s problems with HIV. Unity has even hosted a GLOW Camp in her very house, so she is informed on the premise and value of this camp. I am thrilled at the prospect! My point in divulging this information is partially to celebrate but also to note that it wasn’t until I disclosed that these “high profile” people will be in attendance that the school administration bothered to change their tune about the problem with the doors and bathrooms of the hostels. The headmaster acted as though he could then make a move and leverage this information to get maintenance people out to the school in order to prevent embarrassment. Does it really take putting one’s reputation at stake to get people to do their job?! Isn’t the need to repair these kinds of things self evident?!

My rationale is that if you cannot prioritize the comfort and wellbeing of these students you are employed to educate and tend to, then what ARE your priorities. When I think of my time here in that perspective, I wonder why the hell I am here.

Right now America is my dream. I think of how everything makes sense in America and we’ve really got the system for things down. I only have to read a few news articles online to prove otherwise, but I have this illusionary perception of the States. It is my home, but in some ways I perceive America as this distant fantastical dream in the same way that the Batswana do when they ask me if I know Rhianna. No, I don’t know Rhianna, but we do have electronic ticket transactions, high-speed internet, skim milk, price competition, and the list goes one. (One thing I have enjoyed here is that it is not cost effective to buy in bulk here. Imagine how that would change that way you stocked your house with goods and products. I love it; I’m practically a minimalist!)

This event will happen, come hell or high water. It’s just a matter of how many people I go through and how many revisions of requests and statements and invitations I have to print and edit before it happens. Thanks to all of you that contributed to the project. If you didn’t already know, it has been fully funded and the money has been transferred over so that we can begin purchasing supplies! Will try to keep you posted on the progress made within the next few weeks, trying not to dwell too much on the obstacles and daily defeats, but to harp on the small triumphs and daily developments with the planning.

To end on a good note: I held interviews with the Standard 7 classes at Mosielele Primary School last Friday and selected the participants over the weekend. When I informed the five girls from the school that would be attending the GLOW Camp, their exuberant response was so gratifying, that they felt accomplished to have been chosen and excited at the opportunity to do something different over a holiday weekend. That’s the kind of stuff that keeps me going.

Until next time,