I can play Oh Susanna on the harmonica. That makes two instruments on which I can play that song: the harmonica and the piano. Might I add that I can play nothing more than Oh Susanna on either instrument. The harmonica seems a little more promising than my days with the clarinet in the marching band. If all else fails, I’m going to the tambourine.
As of Sunday I miss Mad Men and TV. Normally, I would say that is something I am so happy to be away from and to not have the incessant background noise is so nice. It’s just that I wanted to see the newest season of Mad Men! It’s funny too because when people here discover that I live alone, they almost always ask if I have a TV as though it is some kind of supplemental company or maybe just a distraction from loneliness. People here definitely do not like living alone. This is totally understandable when you consider that it’s common to live with your parents and siblings until well into your 30’s. Even when you marry off, oftentimes you go to live with your husband’s family. Another cross cultural opportunity is explaining that I moved from my parents’ house at the age of 18 and that it’s common for Americans to move away and live with their friends for a large portion of their lives. These trends are definitely not something you see here.
Anyway, I had a moment while visiting with some volunteers the other day, recognizing that we were all sitting in a living room around a coffee table, snacking on some peanuts and conversing with each other with literally nothing else going on in the room. Ours eyes and ears and hands were not occupied by anything other than the conversation… at hand (ha!). While that might sound like the most mundane statement, think about it: when was the last time you sat around visiting with anyone without music playing for ambience or the TV on for momentary distractions, or even no glad of wine in your hand? I feel like the only time I really experience moments like that are while camping, sitting around a campfire, enjoying each other’s company, and maybe that’s one of the reasons I like camping so much. I’ve always been conscious of learning to be comfortable in silence with someone, but it’s equally as beautiful to just learn to be present with a person and navigate a conversation and an interaction with no additives or aids.
In terms of work, I have been attempting to finish this grant proposal for weeks. Basically, I just need a few pieces of information to complete the budget on the price of hostel accommodations and main hall at the senior secondary school (high school) here in Moshupa, figures that are simply stored on file in the bursar’s office. Let me tell you a little something about the “protocol” of things here and how it is often a façade for what I like to call DIFFUSION OF RESPONSIBILITY. SO in trying to get these figures, I’m sending letters to the highest power that be, the Headmaster. I follow up with him by visiting him at the school and seeing what the progress on the matter. He tells me the letter is sent to the Guidance office for further decision. I go there and the letter is never received. I send another letter and check in a few days later, returning to the Guidance office. They send me to the Matron and Patron of the hostels who also cannot give me the information I need, directing me back to the Headmaster. The headmaster is not in on this particular day, so I speak with the Deputy Headmaster, having to reiterate the entire situation. He says that he needs a letter (a more formal request) stating the particular information I need because the verbal is not enough and doesn’t document this exchange of information. I tell him I have already sent two letters and that no one has responded or lost the letters. He then walks me to the Bursar’s office to speak with them. The Bursar is out for the afternoon and so I speak to the Asst. Bursar. She cannot give me the information (whether it’s b/c she doesn’t know how to access it or doesn’t feel like moving, we will never know). She asks that I write down the information I need and she will call me tomorrow. I never get a call and resort to calling the school again from my office, at which point they tell me to call back in an hour? My supervisor overhears the conversation and when I hang up the phone he says, “Peo, let me help you.” My high and mighty and prideful self does not want to rely on anyone for anything because of this whole issue of trust and fear of indebtedness…it’s a perpetual dilemma for me, applicable to most every aspect of my human interactions. So after my supervisor makes two phone calls and speaks to a couple of people, he not only has the information that I need, but he has it FAXED to me in the office within ten minutes…the same information I have been pursuing for THREE WEEKS! So when people ask me what I am doing with my time here. I’m running in circles and swallowing my pride long enough to get some things accomplished. I just hate to feel that sense of disrespect where no one takes me seriously enough to help me for five minutes of their time and recognize that what I am trying to accomplish isn’t even for me, but for them. It’s a lesson for sure that I cannot operate alone in this community, but when it comes to getting people to care long enough to partake and get the necessary information from the relevant sources, that’s when I wonder if it’s all worth it. I can’t work with’em and I can’t work without’em. I jump through the hoops and practice my patience, and I’m just grateful that my supervisor intervened just before my breaking point with the whole ordeal.
You may be wondering why I have been so hesitant to get the office involved beforehand in the work that I am doing and part of it is that I want minimum accountability to them because I don’t have a lot of respect for the hypocritical tendencies and petty practice of authority that goes on in the office. So, I choose not to abide by ridiculous rules simply to inflate one’s ego and if there is room a little irreverence in my behavior, it eventually leads to a larger conversation on my philosophy behind my behavior. Sure, it’s my notions of things I disapprove are probably not all that profound, but I have a propensity for passive aggression and that’s really where I am right now. Anyway, describing the office setting in which I work lends to a much larger conversation on the development of my professional self in terms of establishing respectful work relationships, and learning how to feel productive and accomplished in a days work, but I don’t feel like going into that here. Because I haven’t had a real job in the States, it’s hard for me to say what I consider to be appropriate or comfortable for me. I just know there are several aspects of my job in the District AIDS Coordinating Office that have made me establish thresholds and preferences for interactions, atmospheres, and schedules. We’ll leave it at that, but I know that it will be a while before I can do an 8-5-desk job unless it’s relevant to me as a human being with particular interests. If you are reading and thinking: “this is an idealist with no understanding of the job market and how to provide for herself,” well just know that I would rather wait tables and serve coffee than sit in an office for the rest of my life.
In an attempt to maintain my sanity and share a little bit of love of art, I have been teaching an art class at the local primary school. One week we designed book covers for their favorite books or just books of their choosing. I tried to use the example of The Great Gatsby and Catcher in the Rye with so many different book designs that represent different aspects of the story. They didn’t entirely understand and they don’t have favorite books because they don’t read recreationally. This is food for thought for later projects to develop that as a recreational outlet! We moved on to learning how to draw faces and cartoons with various expressions. I explained the different proportions of the face like how the ears fit between your mouth and eyebrows. They definitely made some interesting characters! Then I decided we would do the World Map Project once I spoke with the Headmaster and got approval to paint on the front wall of the school. I have set up a 2x4 meter space, painted it blue for the ocean and drew a grid of 28x56, 7cm squares. That was probably the most exhausting part, but NOW after a few gridding exercises, the students have begun drawing their countries onto the wall. I think they are doubtful that they can actually do this, but once they see the project progress square by square, I have no doubt that they will be proud of their accomplishment. I am hoping that the project will be finished in two months, at which time we will have a celebratory unveiling of the map including tea and biscuits and all my favorite customary components, well besides the excessive degree of ceremony that comprises every event. Even still, once it’s finished it will be no only an aesthetic addition to the school grounds, greeting you at the entrance to the compound, but it will also be an instructive tool for all the geography classes. The best part: I can have a visual to explain to them that the U.K. and U.S.A. are two very different places.
For now, I leave you with a few photos of my house since rearranging a few things and actually feeling settled. I just bought a broom (yes, at the 1-year mark of my service), and felt compelled to clear and put some things in their place. Seeing these photos I imagine many of you will say, “wait, this is Peace Corps?” I said the same thing. My house is actually brand new and I am the first person to live in it, so that’s particularly nice. While this house is nice with running water and electricity, I cannot wait for the day when I can sleep beneath a down comforter with insulated walls and climate controlled rooms. I also cannot wait for almost all kitchen appliances including microwave, blender, food processor, and toaster. However, there is one that I can do without: a coffee pot. I have fallen in love with my French press. I’ll probably just treat myself to an espresso machine when I’m back.
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